Before His Throne
A place for refreshment
There are 3 distinct times in my life that have reminded me of my need for Sabbath:
The summer before starting high school I had a part-time job working at the local University. It was my first real-ish job, meaning that I was not just babysitting anymore. The “ish” is included because my boss was also my Nana. The job was simple: we were putting together a library. The summer days were spent sweating in an old warehouse that belonged to the agriculture department and had seen its fair share of dirt. Books were piled high on the tables, most of them donated from community members or discarded as extra copies from local libraries. (I actually have no idea where the books came from, my 14-year-old self couldn’t have cared less about that aspect).
Nana had a table set up in the corner at which she spent most of the days cataloging the books using the good ol’ dewey decimal system. (If you know what that is then you’re either over the age of 50 or were a student worker in various libraries for 8 years throughout high school and college. I will let you guess which category I fall into). As she printed off the labels it was my job to stick them to the book bindings and cover them with a label protector. We would then organize the stacks by call number. Finally the books made their way into boxes and out of the warehouse to be sent to the library overseas.
The summer was filled with dust, sweat, and many runs to McDonalds for refreshing mango smoothies. It was also filled with responsibility. This was the first consistent job in which I spent the same hours every week working rather than a night or two here and there watching kiddos. Oh how easy life still was, but how overwhelmed I felt at times trying to, dare I say, “juggle it all.” (Literally there was nothing to juggle other than my job, which meant I had to say no to hanging out with friends at times. Such a rough life, I know). Regardless, whatever hard work looked like for me then, that summer was the first time I came to the end of the week and felt that I needed Sabbath rest. It was the first time I fully enjoyed having a day that was set apart to pause from everything else.
Fast-forward to college and you will find a new biomedical science major who had spent the last 3 years adding summer camp and (surprise surprise) more librarian hours to her resume, only to realize she needed patient experience hours before she could apply for PA school. That summer I worked towards my certified nursing assistant license as quickly as I could and started my CNA job in September. I only had one year before applying to PA school and needed to get the hours in quickly, which meant working weekends during the school year. And because I am a people-pleaser and somewhat of a teacher’s pet (though I would not admit to the latter in real life), I also worked as a TA (teacher’s assistant) for 3 science courses throughout that year. There was indeed more to juggle at that stage of my life compared to high school. And of course, Sabbath rest was much welcomed. It was bitter-sweet as I struggled to feel the same rest when I had to be apart from family and friends during work on Saturday, but eventually I was able to switch to working every Sunday instead. That was a blessing, as I was able to fully enjoy every Sabbath again.
Welcome to present day. New-grad Cheyenne has recently started working a job which is wonderful and overwhelming and crazy and inspiring all at once. There is little time during the week to mentally rest apart from while sleeping (and when I start dreaming about work, then I know I really need to focus on something else for a change).
I am sitting on my couch this Friday evening, twinkle lights glowing and a special song playing as I write. My dad shared it after our FaceTime chat this evening and I have listened to it at least 10 times already. Here is the link, play it in the background while you keep reading (something like the pianist playing softly as the pastor wraps up his sermon).
Over the last few weeks I have began my morning prayer time with a new opening sentence:
Good morning God, I come into your presence this morning…
The purpose is two-fold: first, to remind myself that I am not praying to check boxes off my to-do list, I am coming here intentionally. And second, to silence my mind from distraction and focus it on the present. I am literally in the presence of God, before His throne, to talk with Him.
How perfectly this song articulates the answer to the desire of my heart tonight:
“A great High Priest whose name is Love, who ever lives and pleads for me. My name is graven on His hands, my name is written on His heart, I know that while in heaven He stands, no tongue can bid me thence depart.”
What an invitation to come before the One who is Love. He is on your side! His love is for you, not against you. Your name is written on His heart and He is invested in you. You can sit in His presence for however long is needed, no one can send you away.
Come and spend time with Him. To me, that is what Sabbath is all about.
