Dear Edward: Year 4
Our fourth year of marriage has brought with it a variety of changes, including the end of grad school and moving to a new state! For two people who enjoy plans and consistency, the uncertainties of the past 12 months have been accompanied by many opportunities to practice the art of patience. With each new adventure comes an opportunity for personal and relational growth. In many ways, we are not the same people we were four years ago. As I have done each year, there are new vows I want to share with Edward and, because vows are a public declaration, I invite you to listen in. If we got married after four years of marriage, this is what I would say:
Dear Edward,
- I promise to always remember how much fun it was to cook together in a tiny kitchen where our butts touched when I stood at the stove and you were doing the dishes. No matter how much space we have in future homes, my favorite place to be is close to you.
- I promise to trust you will keep me warm, even if we go camping on the coldest Nebraska weekend in January. I 10/10 recommend, I will just wear warmer boots next time because that one was on me.
3. I promise to cultivate a peaceful life together. Let’s keep taking our quiet evening walks, giggling on the living-room floor for no reason, and enjoying week nights with much less studying than the last four years!
4. I promise to enjoy each new experience we have together. From my first fishing trip in Oregon to driving the three-wheeler to showing you Hagia Sophia and exploring the Turkish countryside, doing life with you is my favorite. I love your sense of adventure and the way you encourage me to step out of my comfort zone. Maybe someday I will paraglide with you, but for now it was just as fun to watch you from the safety of the ground.
5. I promise to continue collecting books for us to read. Just kidding, I know you would prefer that I wait until we finish the current one before adding more to our library. So, I will promise to try and resist buying every interesting book I see. But I am glad you share in my joy for learning, through books or other means.
6. I promise to continue to learn from you. From starting to brush my teeth for the full 2 minutes (not because I feel like you are secretly counting or anything…) to asking you car care questions, thank you for teaching me things each day. I also admire the effort you put into researching new purchases or ideas and am inspired to keep digging for knowledge in each area of my life.
7. I promise to try to keep you safe while recognizing that there are some times this is just out of my control. Like when you whip out your pocket knife to pick out a piece of food stuck between your teeth while driving. Dentists will be dentists.
8. I promise to slow down in museums so you can read the exhibits signs. And maybe I will read a few too. I think we just need to find better museums, but maybe the verdict is still out on if I should just broaden my interests.
9. I publicly promise to continue to give you haircuts. While I initially thought I could pass the torch once we were out of school, I guess 7 years of experience has paid off for both of us. I now enjoy the process and you like the outcome, not to mention the money saved. Win-win. Go team!
10. I promise to choose you each day. No matter what comes our way this year, our marriage is my priority and I want to continue growing closer to you. Thank you for being my best friend, for going through each day with me, for being open to new adventures, for your support and encouragement, and most importantly for a love that gets better every year.
Happy Anniversary, Edward. I love you!
